Why is parting such sweet sorrow? | Science
The science behind the newsScience This article is more than 18 years oldWhy is parting such sweet sorrow?
This article is more than 18 years oldAs Ella Fitzgerald sang, every time we say goodbye, we die a little. This is, of course, better than dying altogether, which may explain why there is sweetness even in sorrow. Juliet's lament about her separation from her very new acquaintance was enhanced by the thought that it would be temporary: that she would see Romeo again. In song and story, life goes on, even if something is missing.
Real life, however, offers no such certainties, and neither does Life the Guardian supplement. In a here-today, gone-tomorrow world, there is a certain satisfaction in having existed at all. The exuberant joy of being is tempered by the wistful knowledge that nothing is forever. The Romans had a phrase for it: ave atque vale, hail and farewell. Psychological literature is rich in studies of separation anxiety, grief and loss. There is a denial phase to grief in which the bereaved believe that the lost one will come back. Then after a while, this denial gives way to anger, fear, guilt and depression. Loss of energy, fatigue, headaches and chest pains may occur before the inevitable adjustment.
Parting, neuropsychologists say, is a stretching of emotional bonds: the sorrow is tinged with the sweetness of the memories.
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